Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Homecoming...finally!

He's finally coming home.

For how long, we don't know. There can be, at any time, another tour of duty at another base.

After a year of being gone, I wonder how it feels to be coming home, and seeing the changes in things once familiar.

I have a case of nerves about readjusting to having him home everyday. I know that other military families have the same concerns. I keep telling myself that everything will be fine, that we're adults and being older, we should be able to compensate until we "find our groove" again. I also know that I'm kidding myself.

We've only been married 28 months, and 12 of them have been while he's been "away." We barely had time to sort things out before he left, much less build a foundation to sustain and support us when, as every married couple knows, we hit those "bumps in the road" that cause friction and upset. During the brief time we had in our first year, we had the added burden of both of us being out of work. Talk about trial by fire!

On the other hand, we've been blessed that he has served stateside. I cannot imagine the uncertainty that other families have when their husband/son/father or wife/daughter/mother is serving overseas. I don't think anyone can. No movie can depict the emotional strain, the daily trials, the lost opportunities and/or the celebrations/sorrows that every family experiences and the soldier misses.

The two separate life experiences create a chasm that some cannot bridge, and the divergence becomes two roads that never meet again. Yet some couples make a new channel that creates an island, the place where that separation is allowed to rest, and they move forward, rejoining like a river, becoming stronger because of, or in spite of it.

Marriage is a promise to each other that we will work hard to bridge the chasm that sometimes opens up before us. We can either allow it to create two roads and let it separate us, or we can work at building levees and dams that will shepherd us back together, creating a stronger union.
The levees and dams are called faithfulness, love, compromise, love, integrity, love, communication, love, charity, love, hope, love....see where I'm going?

So, the separation is nearly over. One of our nightly prayers is this, "We thank you (God) and pray for each other, that we continue to grow in love and understanding, patience, kindness and forgiveness." I hope that whatever separates you from your loved one, whether distance, conflict, confusion or (fill in blank) will not create two roads, but a new channel, that you can continue to grow in love, understanding, patience, kindness and forgiveness. Nothing else in the world matters.

I love you FHB, see you tomorrow!

1 comment:

Bernie said...

Wow, I had no idea he was gone that long. If anyone can make that kind of thing work, it's the two of you. :)