An Unconventional Life

BLIZZARD - Groundhog Day

2011-02-17T18:08:00.012-06:00

(This photo taken by our neighbor L. Trevino, day after the blizzard. Our house is on the far right, you can see the snow as high as our kitchen windows.)

We escaped the blizzard by leaving a day early for our trip to Missouri.

This is what we came home to, 4 days later....

I am so ready for spring to come.....sigh.

A Big Adjustment - Retired after 33 Years!

2010-08-31T18:26:00.005-05:00

On August 14, 2010, the Air Force honored an airman who served 33 years. He served in Desert Shield, Desert Storm, Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. He joined in 1977, and on July 1, 2010, was officially retired from the Air Force.

"He" is my husband, Harold Von De Bur, Master Sergeant.

One of countless military men and women who served this country with honor, dedication, and integrity.

He is pictured on the right, receiving one of several certificates and letters commending his service, from Chaplain Howard Bell. A retirement ceremony is quite an event, and one that many of his fellow airmen attended. It is not common for someone to stay in for 33 years. Most retire when they hit 20 years, still a long time. It is rare for any one in civilian life to stay with one company this long!

No more long deployments, no more phone calls, "can you be at this Base by the 1st of the month?" He was in demand, asked for by name to backfill at other bases. No more weekends or week long UTAs. I like having him home all the time. He already misses his friends, and the routine.

It was where he knew what he was doing, and did it so well that many of the things he did were invisible to his bosses. He was exceptionally good at pre-empting issues early, before they became problems and needed the attention of his superiors. He was very diplomatic in stealing a minute or two from his commanders, who were juggling many things. He knew how to get things done, and was recognized for 100% accuracy in Mobility folders for airmen who were deploying, having stepped in as a Unit Deployment Manager.

Now he needs to find a job that will utilize these skills. We need to translate those skills into civilian/corporate speak and find a place that will appreciate and value his abilities. There's only one of him!

Congratulations MSgt. Harold Von De Bur, on an outstanding service career. Here's to the next adventure!

Storm Chaser...among other things

2010-07-28T14:43:00.009-05:00

When I was younger, for various reasons, I decided I was NOT going to be a "housewife." This is not to say I thought housewives' were not valuable. They are probably the most valuable people in the world. They are also the least appreciated. From that perspective, as a young girl I decided it was not for me.

So I embarked on creating a life for me, defined by what I wanted to do, what I liked, and my own natural curiosity. Throw in a measure of "tomboy" and you get an unconventional life.

One of my fascinations has been earth sciences; volcanoes, earthquakes, rock hounding, and weather. In 1994-5, I trained with the National Weather Service to become a storm spotter; someone on the ground who reports back to the NWS live observations of a storm, before, during and after the event. This includes wind speed, hail size, rainfall amounts, and damage reports in severe storms. I started with just giving estimates, to having the equipment to give accurate, "measured" reports. I attend training each spring and even having the experience of 15 years plus, I still learn new things.

A couple years ago, I started attempting to capture my observations with a camera. I have occasionally captured lightning, but only so-so. Until this past weekend. On Sunday, my husband and I were driving around, "observing" the storms that devastated Milwaukee with 7+ inches of rain. There were funnel clouds sighted, and the potential for waterspouts. We drove 3 blocks to the lakefront (yeah, drove 3 blocks, but think about it - heavy rain was coming, along with high winds and hail? I wanted the protection of shelter nearby!) to watch the storm front pass through. No waterspouts. So we drove further north, closer to the storm, and after rescuing one of my petsitting clients (she accidently locked herself out of her home and I have a key) we headed to an open area. All the better to see funnel clouds, hail, and lightning.

Taking shots of lightning requires patience, patience, timing and pure dumb luck. All came together for me.

I got maybe two more "keepers" and then the lightning got too close. Once I snapped a pic, but the image seemed to bleed out of the camera into my hands, and that was way too close. It was just the after-image, but I took it as a hint to take cover. Shortly after, there was a loud crack of thunder and a bolt that seemed to strike right in front of the van. That's enough for me!

The foremost lesson in storm spotting/chasing that they teach, is to always be aware of where you are in relation to the storm, and to STAY SAFE! Translation: Better to live and chase another day, than to die and have your camera blow up in your hands when you're struck by lightning. Kind of spoils the picture if the memory card vaporizes.....

P.S. All images are copyrighted. Von De Bur-2010 Contact me if you'd like permission to use. Nominal compensation is appreciated. SkyWarn logo is copyrighted, contact them for permission to use - http://www.mke-skywarn.org

Foiled again.....!

2010-06-16T19:00:00.002-05:00

Sometimes things just don't go the way someone says they will. I feel like the little kid whose dad keeps promising him they will go fishing, and then dad keeps having to do other stuff. Harold was supposed to be coming home tonight.

He's not. His orders have been modified to include an additional 4 days. He may or may not be coming home on Monday.

I'm not holding my breath.

The End is Near.......!

2010-06-08T11:47:00.003-05:00

On 16 June, 2010, my husband will end his workday. It will be his last day serving his country in the military. Only 8 more days left in his 33 year career.

He, along with so many others, served and serves this country with such dedication and determination.

Thank you to every one of them, and to their families who stand right beside them, supporting them in this mission.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Five Months of Life....Trials & Tribulations

2010-06-04T10:07:00.003-05:00

It has been a long time since I posted. Sorry about that, but sometimes LIFE grabs hold and decides to shake things up.

Last December I found out I had to have surgery, I couldn't put it off any longer. It was scheduled for Feb. 3. I had just over a month to stew about it, and stew I did. This surgery was similiar to the surgery my sister had. For those of you who don't know, my sister died from complications due to the surgery. Needless to say, I was very, very nervous about it. The day before the surgery, I was an absolute basket case. For the first time, I reached out to friends and family and asked for their prayers.

I have been known as the strong one, not much fazes me, and I usually tough things out pretty well. Not this time, I was so upset and scared, there, I said it, yes, scared, that my husband and I attended daily Mass on the day before, and I asked our Pastor to hear my Confession. He even graced me with the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick; "the Catholic sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, formerly known as Last rites or Extreme Unction, is a ritual of healing appropriate not only for physical but also for mental and spiritual sickness." Our church offers this sacrament every First Friday of the month at daily Mass, or in cases like mine, when needed. I am thankful we went to Mass, because later that day, the doctor called to tell us that my surgery had been moved up and, instead of being at the hospital by 10am, I now had to be there by 7am. There would be no chance to attend Mass the morning before the surgery, as we had planned.

Between that comfort, and the power of the prayers of my friends and family, on the day of surgery, I was very calm. I was not stressed out, even having to be there much earlier than originally scheduled. My husband was allowed to stay with me until they came to take me to the OR. During the pre-op stuff, I was able to say a complete Divine Mercy chaplet. Was I at peace? Yes. Was I sure of the outcome? No. Any surgery carries risks. My health was in the hands of God and my surgeon. Obviously, it was successful, and I am very happy to be here, to thank God, and my friends and family for their prayers. Never doubt the power of prayer!

The rest of the year has been tough. In March, I lost my Uncle Dean. He stood in for my dad during my wedding and danced with me for the Father/Daughter, Mother/Son dance. Uncle Dean was also my godfather, which is why I asked him to stand in. He had always been kind, quiet, reliable, and a constant in our lives. He was a brave man, serving his country with a great deal of honor, during the Korean War. He and my husband became friends, and Harold was one of his pall-bearers, an honor he gratefully accepted, even though he didn't feel he deserved it.

In April, Harold was asked to serve one more TDY at Scott AFB, for 60 days, taking him right up to the last day of his service. On 16 June, he will be retired from the Air Force, after serving 33 years. His official retirement ceremony will be in August.

He had been doing weeklong TDY's since January. In April, I flew out one weekend to attend the last Stripes Ball he would be able to go to, and we drove home on Sunday. He came home to pack up what he needed for two months, and on Monday, he left again. I keep reminding myself that its almost over, but I also know that he will miss it terribly. He loves the Air Force.

We found out during his first week away that Terri, my brother's wife, was going to lose her battle with breast cancer. This was devastating news. Terri has been fighting for 10 years, always positive, always seeming to beat the odds. The cancer had reared its ugly head again, right around the time my sister had died. This time it was in all new places. Her brain, lungs, kidneys, liver, bladder; every time they beat it back from one place, it attacked another. Through it all, she remained positive, and rarely missed a game her boys played in. This time was different. The doctors couldn't offer any more drugs/treatments or hope. On April 28th, the school came to their house, and presented her son his high school diploma, so she could see him graduate. Real diploma, and Adam wore his cap and gown. Then on May 2nd, she peacefully, quietly slipped away, at home, surrounded by her family. It was a cloudy morning, but while at Mass, I saw the gates of Heaven open for her; bright, beams of sunlight, streaming through the stained glass windows, and I just knew it was for her.

One last thought before I go. My dad passed away on November 2nd. My sister, on July 2nd, and now Terri, on May 2nd. Uncanny, and disturbing. Our little family, getting smaller and smaller, was starting to not like this date. My father-in-law commented that as long as we made it past the 2nd of every month, we were in good shape, right?

But a friend looked at it a different way. She doesn't believe in coincidences, there is purpose for every thing that happens. She told me that it was my dad's way of letting us know that he was there, taking care of my sister and now sister-in-law, not to worry, they were with him. What a comfort! So, instead of looking at that day with trepidation, I can look at it as a day to think about and remember them. (Thank you Laura!) By the way, November 2nd is All Souls Day. There are no coincidences......

Be well, and say a little prayer. I will, every day.

A Christmas Prayer

2009-12-25T15:03:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas!!

May the Reason for the Season bless you with contentment, hope, health and Joy! May He grace you with strength, patience and courage in whatever trials you are facing or may face in the future.

And may you know Peace, in all things.

God Bless You!

Old Things, New Things

2009-12-01T12:31:00.014-06:00

It's been a crazy month. I apologize for the long gap between posts.

One of the reasons was that we had a new laminate floor put down in the living room.

WHAT a PAIN! Mostly the removing of furniture and "things" we've accumulated since we were married. That and all the stuff we had to combine. People sure do acquire stuff.

Anyway, the installers had to remove the old carpet and padding first. The carpet was here before I bought the house. I was talked out of removing it before moving in. I should've done it anyway. It would have been a whole heck of a lot easier then. Oh well, live and learn, right?

This house was built in 1883, a nice cream city brick bungalow. The boards under the carpet are wide plank pine, a typical sub-floor choice. The floor was not in good enough shape to sand and refinish, so we went with Mountain Pine laminate, in a finish that was reflective of the time and era of the house. And it does look beautiful.

When they finished pulling up the carpet padding, we found two things. An old sheet of linoleum, in a hideous pattern, but what must have been all the rage back then.

It seemed to have a tar paper backing, black and flexible. We pulled it up in large chunks, very easily. It was not tacked down, but did sort of "stick" to the wood floor. I kept a 3 x 3 scrap, just to do a little research.

Under the linoleum, we found some really old newspaper pages. You could still read most of the ads, and a couple obituaries. It was from the obits that we figured out the age of the paper. The interesting part about the obit, below, is that the death occurred that morning. This was the afternoon edition. That could not happen now, unless you are a celebrity and have a public relations firm, oh, and a website.

The gentleman's birth was listed (1867), and his age (75). From that, we figured the paper was from 1942. Year of birth and age was not listed for any of the ladies...even in death a lady never revealed her age!

Here's an ad from Porter's of Racine furniture store, which is still selling fine furniture. Porter's opened in 1857. Not too many retailers can boast that kind of longevity!

Can you imagine buying the top-of-the-line range for $119.50!

There was another clue in the ad: "Note: You can still buy gas stoves. Providing you can meet the new government rules and regulations. You do not necessarily have to be a defense worker. Stop in for details."

Only defense workers were allowed to have gas stoves? What, did cooking with gas require a defense contract or special security clearance? Just kidding, I wonder what the new rules and regulations were at the time, as opposed to now when gas or electric ranges are a matter of choice.

Porter's of Racine does have a website and some of their history is featured. Go to: http://www.portersofracine.com/history01.htm for some historical tidbits. When you look at the ads and picture cards, you'll notice "Undertakers and Embalmers" under the name; back then furniture makers also provided caskets, and in the earliest days, mortuary services.

They don't do that anymore.

Anyway, this old house has a few stories in it; a Bone in the Basement; an old Axe in the Attic; bloody Garments in the Garage, sounds like a scary book series, doesn't it? With all that, I'm hoping there is NOT a Corpse in the Crawlspace, but I haven't had the nerve to explore it ... yet. However, I am up for Money in the Mousehole, or maybe Cash in the Coffee Can, a little Gold in the Garden, perhaps? Yeah, I know, I'm dreaming.....

Right now, I'm enjoying the new floor, and my husband is happy to have the big dust catcher gone.

It's our early Christmas present to us and to our future health!

Be well.....

What happened to Summer???

2009-10-10T15:19:00.013-05:00

It's October. We are facing the coldest temps for the season tonight. I am not happy about this. It's too soon for such cold weather. But I do love the brilliant colors of fall. I took this picture last fall, one early morning, when I was returning from an early morning pet-sit job. The gorgeous color just radiated in the sunlight and stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't the only one either, another motorist stopped just as I finished shooting.

Fall has so many things to offer, the colors, the mild temps (usually) and the bountiful farmers' markets with so many good things to eat! I have been a gardener for years, and love when the tomatoes are warm, right out of the garden. It's like candy to me. I also grow many herbs for cooking and the plants are at full, lush growth. Apples and pears that taste like wine, sweet corn on the cob, and the pumpkins, of every size and shape and color.

But just when you can really see the fruits of your labor, you have to start thinking about cutting it all down for the winter. I have to cut the herbs to start drying. In October, the tomatoes are done, along with most other vegetables. The dried corn stalks start appearing, and gourds are everywhere. The garden has to be cleared, and the last flowers are finishing their blooming season. The color is quickly falling to the ground, if you aren't fast enough to get the pictures, you'll have to wait for next fall.

So, I'm done now, since we are expecting 20's tonight. The garden is empty, the yard art is brought in, the hose put away. The container plants are in the basement, or in the garage. The ceramic bird bath too. The yard looks naked, and forlorn. I can feel the chill in my bones, and worry about heating bills. My hubby is still getting acclimated to the coolness after the TDY in Texas, where they broke records for consecutive days over 100. In Wisconsin, we never hit 90. I hope we have an indian summer, because it doesn't feel like we had a summer here, and if we did, I was too busy to appreciate it. I promise to stop and enjoy the last of the warmth, if it deigns to visit.

Because, you know darn well what is lurking just around the corner:

Oh well, it will happen again, and again, so I guess we just suck it up and enjoy it anew. Or you could try hibernating. Hmmm, kinda like that idea, now that I have someone to hibernate with!

Be well......

A Milestone

2009-09-16T11:56:00.002-05:00

It's my birthday today. I've crossed over into the dark side. I am no longer a "junior" American.

A Homecoming...finally!

2009-08-30T10:41:00.003-05:00

He's finally coming home.

For how long, we don't know. There can be, at any time, another tour of duty at another base.

After a year of being gone, I wonder how it feels to be coming home, and seeing the changes in things once familiar.

I have a case of nerves about readjusting to having him home everyday. I know that other military families have the same concerns. I keep telling myself that everything will be fine, that we're adults and being older, we should be able to compensate until we "find our groove" again. I also know that I'm kidding myself.

We've only been married 28 months, and 12 of them have been while he's been "away." We barely had time to sort things out before he left, much less build a foundation to sustain and support us when, as every married couple knows, we hit those "bumps in the road" that cause friction and upset. During the brief time we had in our first year, we had the added burden of both of us being out of work. Talk about trial by fire!

On the other hand, we've been blessed that he has served stateside. I cannot imagine the uncertainty that other families have when their husband/son/father or wife/daughter/mother is serving overseas. I don't think anyone can. No movie can depict the emotional strain, the daily trials, the lost opportunities and/or the celebrations/sorrows that every family experiences and the soldier misses.

The two separate life experiences create a chasm that some cannot bridge, and the divergence becomes two roads that never meet again. Yet some couples make a new channel that creates an island, the place where that separation is allowed to rest, and they move forward, rejoining like a river, becoming stronger because of, or in spite of it.

Marriage is a promise to each other that we will work hard to bridge the chasm that sometimes opens up before us. We can either allow it to create two roads and let it separate us, or we can work at building levees and dams that will shepherd us back together, creating a stronger union.
The levees and dams are called faithfulness, love, compromise, love, integrity, love, communication, love, charity, love, hope, love....see where I'm going?

So, the separation is nearly over. One of our nightly prayers is this, "We thank you (God) and pray for each other, that we continue to grow in love and understanding, patience, kindness and forgiveness." I hope that whatever separates you from your loved one, whether distance, conflict, confusion or (fill in blank) will not create two roads, but a new channel, that you can continue to grow in love, understanding, patience, kindness and forgiveness. Nothing else in the world matters.

I love you FHB, see you tomorrow!

Random Facts from My Hubby

2009-07-23T22:09:00.002-05:00

Just for fun, here are some random facts about my husband (who I might add, insisted I publish this after going through it for fun, he didn't want to "waste" his answers)

A - Age: older than I was yesterday
B - Bed size: Queen
C - Chore you hate: anything that gets me dirty
D - Dog's names: don't have any
E - Essential start your day item: Coke
F - Favorite color: yellow
G - Gold or Silver: both (and lots of it)
H - Height: 6’2.5”
I - Instruments you play: piano, recorder, xylophone
J - Job title: Chaplain's assistant
K - Kid(s): None
L - Living arrangements: one woman, our two cats, and three foster cats
M - Mom's name: Rita
N - Nicknames: PretzelBoy, Hal, Howie DaBold, Honeybunny
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: a couple different ones; tonsils, hernia, gall bladder
P - Pet Peeve: stupidity
Q - Quote from a movie/tv show: "Pyle, you knucklehead!" (Gomer Pyle)
R - Right or left handed: ambidextrous, left handed for writing
S - Siblings: 3 sisters, 3 brothers, all younger
T - Time you wake up: 6:30 am, except on weekends then maybe 12noon
U - Underwear: briefs
V - Vegetable you dislike: lima beans
W - Ways you run late: too much to do before I leave
X - X-rays you've had: you could probably see my entire skeleton if you assembled them all
Y - Yummy food you make: anything I make
Z - Zoo favorite: penquins

Disclaimer: I did not coerce any answers, however, I did have to explain the concept a few times. Sometimes he overthinks things - LOL!

Miscellaneous info - from Boomer Randomness

2009-07-11T00:00:00.006-05:00

Just for fun, here are some random facts about me:

A - Age: old enough to know better, young enough not to care

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: dishes, that's why I have a dishwasher

D - Dog's names: don't have any

E - Essential start your day item: any fruit juice

F - Favorite color: Sapphire Blue

G - Gold or Silver: both

H - Height: 5’4”

I - Instruments you play: none - tried guitar lessons when I was a kid, didn't take

J - Job title: Business owner - pet sitting

K - Kid(s): None

L - Living arrangements: one man, our two cats, and three foster cats

M - Mom's name: Joan

N - Nicknames: Harolds1, Lydia,

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: a couple different ones, 1-4 nights

P - Pet Peeve: drivers who fail to signal, those who drive into the pedestrian walk

Q - Quote from a movie/tv show: "Don't call me Sugar!" (Gone with the Wind)

R - Right or left handed: ambidextrous, right handed for writing

S - Siblings: one sister (deceased), one brother

T - Time you wake up: early for pet sitting; if no bookings - whenever (usually 7-8am)

U - Underwear: yes

V - Vegetable you dislike: anything overcooked/soggy

W - Ways you run late: when I underestimate how long it takes to get anywhere or if I check the computer one more time......

X - X-rays you've had: you could probably see my entire skeleton if you assembled them all

Y - Yummy food you make: raspberry chip brownies

Z - Zoo favorite: all big cats

What are your A-Zs?

Sad Anniversary

2009-07-02T16:01:00.004-05:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of my sister Lora's passing. It has not been an easy year. We had a Mass said for her today to commemorate this sad day.

We are still working out the disposal of her "estate" such as it is. The house is the biggest asset and liability she had. With the housing market being "soft" people are more interested in getting a bargain.

More importantly, is how her death has affected us. My brother is angry. Mom is prone to absentmindedness. She feels disconnected, the same as after my dad died. Me, I feel abandoned, first by my dad, and then my sister.

We all know how our parents influence and interfer in our lives. Influence because when we are young, we absorb what they say and do, its how we learn things. Interfer, because when we are grown up and out of the house, parents sometimes cling to the need we had for them when we were small. It didn't matter that I was in my 40s, because I was not married, my dad felt the need to tell me what to do or how I was "supposed" to act. Never mind that I worked in a different industry, and had been on my own since I was 18. My experiences meant little to him. My comments, even when he asked for them, were suspect and lacked credibility because I wasn't a man. Yes, its true. If I offered a comment, it was dismissed. But if one of his friends made the same comment, then suddenly he took note of it. It was hurtful and laughable at times.

When my dad died suddenly, all of us lost one of our anchors. Our little boats spun around in the current for awhile. My brother and his family had each other to help move them forward. My sister and my mom were always close and were also closer in distance. She had both her daughters and son to anchor her, to help with decisions, get things done around the house, etc. She has wonderful neighbors who helped distract her by taking her to dinner, and plays. I had just met my husband-to-be, so I had a roller coaster ride, the up of the romance, and the down of the loss really wreaked havoc on my person. But I thank God for him, because I believe that things would have been quite a bit different for me otherwise, and he is the one who became my anchor.

When my sister died, it was even more shocking to our systems. No one could have guessed the outcome, no one had a chance to reconcile themselves to her death. Not like when a parent dies, its always in the back of your mind that they will not always be there, especially as they get elderly, you resign yourself to that fact. My sister was in early middle age, decades before her yet. My mom counted on her to be the one to care for her as she aged, because they were such good friends. There is still a hole that can't be filled by anyone else, especially for mom.

As for me, I feel like most of my childhood memories have left. Lora was there for most of them. Siblings have long memories, and aren't shy about making sure you don't live down some of the funny or embarassing moments in your life. And even during some of those times when we were at odds with each other, we always knew the other was there, one of the anchors of our lives. The touchpoints that helped shape us, and identify us.

The funny thing is, I think she left me even before she passed on. She decided not to come to my wedding. She's not in any of the pictures with the rest of the family. The wedding was a little more than a year before she died. Isn't that heartbreaking?

Rest in Peace, Lora.

Would you ride in a car with your head hanging out the Window????

2009-02-15T13:50:00.008-06:00

Would you ride with your head hanging out of a car window? Eyes wide open, nose in the wind? Probably not. So why do people risk the health of their dogs? Oh yeah, because the dog likes it. Yeah, children also like to touch the shiny pot on the stove. You know the outcome of that scenario.

Dogs have the mental capacity of a two-year old child. They will always have the mental capacity of a two-year old, because they are dogs. Let me re-emphasize that, they are DOGS. They are not human children with the capacity to learn as they mature and gain the ability to reason and increase their mental capacity. They don't know about the dangers of hanging their heads out the window. Children don't know that the flickering yellow and red lights in the camp or grill are dangerous either and run right for it until some adult screams and scares them away from it and explains the what and why. You are the parent, or responsible adult. And that includes protecting your dogs from dangers that they have no experience with, or concept of.

Dogs are reactionary, and will jump out of a window to chase a squirrel or rabbit, they will jump after another dog. They cannot grab onto the edge of the window if you have to slam on the brakes, not to mention what happens if you are in an accident through no fault of your own.

Dogs also live in the moment. They don't learn like humans, unless they are consistently and repetitively are told "NO." And because they are reactionary, even that training can go "right out the window" along with the dog with the right (or wrong) stimulus.

I have never yet seen a dog with goggles on while hanging their heads out. The bugs and dirt can seriously injure their eyes. The stuff that flies around can be imbedded in their eyes especially at speeds greater than walking speeds. Do you drive at 2mph? No? Well, think about winds at 35 or 45 mph, driving dirt into your eyes. Ever been in a duststorm, or how about sand? Not so much fun, huh.

Does your dog wear a safety belt while riding? No? How silly of me. Ever been in a car accident, or seen the results of one? Things unrestrained fly around a car, and slam into windows, dashboards, and out of the car. What do you think will happen to your dog? Especially small lap dogs. Remember the circus where the man is shot out of a cannon? I don't recall there being a whole lot of big soft air cushions that are conveniently placed along the roads to catch flying bodies.

The sad fact is that we over-indulge our pets. We treat them like furry versions of humans and then jeopardize their health and lives by failing to protect them. It's okay to crack the window wide enough to let bigger dogs stick their noses out, but no more. Even their noses can be injured by flying debris. As for heads or more, (I've seen dogs leaning out the window with half their bodies), unless you want to kill them, don't do it. Let's face it, dogs are not smarter than humans.

Check out the article at: www.cartalk.com/content/features/fido/dog-safe.html#inthecar and this excellent personal account of an owner whose dog fell out of the car: http://dogs.thefuntimesguide.com/2007/06/dogs_in_cars.php

I'm sorry I have to put such scary images in your head, but being involved with animals as I am, it needs to be stressed that this is a responsibility you should take seriously.

For the sake of your dog, please, PLEASE don't risk their health & life because "they like it". "They" don't know any better. Crack the window a couple inches for fresh air and interesting smells for the dog, but keep them inside the car for you. Your dog deserves your best care and protection. I hope they are your best friends, and you treat them as treasures, just like your human best friends.

Have a great week!

Born Again American

2009-02-02T08:36:00.006-06:00

My wonderful husband, who has been on TDY for 2 months now, sent an email to me that has a link to a great website. I think it captures what many of us are feeling right now, in light of the economy, job losses, foreclosures, and rampant greed on the part of our leaders in government and industry.

Check it out for yourself:

http://www.bornagainamerican.org/index.html

Sign your name, print the document, and remember what made this country great, its people. You and me, whom our government has forgotten. Let's remind them.

Have a fabulous week, and stand tall!

Where's the Snow????

2008-12-23T16:14:00.006-06:00

My friend Bernie, has a great photo blog, and he has been posting some very pretty Christmas lights photos. There are a lot of creative displays by people who obviously love to do it.

http://middletowndailyphoto.blogspot.com/

I have one question - Where's the snow??? Isnt' it supposed to be a white Christmas? Isn't that what the song is all about?

The snow is here, in Wisconsin. It is snowing again today, and tomorrow. We are expecting up to a foot. We just had a foot a week ago. I have been using the snowblower every day. And this was all before winter officially started.

I can't wait to see how much we'll get now that winter IS here. NOT!

This is along the same lines of too much Christmas too early in the season. I like snow in moderate amounts and only just before Christmas. I like a white Christmas, then I want it to go away and spring to come. I much prefer warm temps and green things growing in my back yard.

Oh, well. This is Wisconsin, after all. I just wait 5 minutes, it'll change.

Yeah, any minute now.

Give Thanks to Our Military

2008-12-02T17:39:00.001-06:00

Remembering Our Military

2008-12-02T17:24:00.004-06:00

As of December 1, my husband of just 19 months is on Temporary Duty for 6 months. We will be separated for Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's, his birthday, our 2nd anniversary, Easter and all the other family events in our lives.

I am new to this. There are families who have been coping with separations like this for some time, and it never gets easier. I am in awe of those who can keep things going at home, and keep themselves together, while missing their husbands or wives.

Every day we pray for the men and women who are serving, especially those in harm's way. And for their families who miss them.

We can show them some support, by sending a card (link above) to the men and women who sacrifice much in many ways by thanking them for their service. Let us pray that they will come home to their families safely... and soon!

Thanks Honeybunny, - I love you!

Christmas and all the Trappings?

2008-12-01T17:45:00.004-06:00

I love Christmas. I love the lights, the music, the snow - in moderate amounts please. I love Christmas cards. I love Christmas cookies, and all the feasting.

What I don't like is the commercialization of Christmas, a holy season. I was horrified to read the story about the store worker who was trampled by crazed shoppers. WHAT in God's great name was so valuable or necessary to happiness that it should cost an innocent his life? Nothing. NO THING. A thing cannot bring happiness, it is a temporary distraction. It is breakable, expendable, terminal and in one year, who will remember the thing?

Our society (Americans) has become fixated on acquiring things, "he who has the most toys, wins." Wins what? Eternal Peace? Everlasting Joy? Unconditional Love? Of course not.

I'll admit to enjoying getting the perfect gift for people I love. Sometimes it is something they wanted or needed. Sometimes it is something that inspired warm thoughts of them. Most often, it is small and very personal to them. The best gifts I ever got were surprises, a sapphire cross necklace from my mom, I wear it all the time. A set of rubber stamps from my sister, bought before she died this summer. It is one of my hobbies, and she found it while going on rummage sales with her boyfriend. She was watching her budget and yet found a thoughtful gift, months before the holiday. I cried when her boyfriend told me about it.

These are the gifts that move me. I want to weep tears of joy and love for the person who was really considering a gift from their heart. It is, to me, a measure of their love for me, when they take the time or care to pick out a gift for me, not because its on sale or they needed to get a gift. I'd rather get a box of homemade Christmas cookies, or a set of rubber stamps than the latest electronic gadget or another sweatshirt. I want to do the same for those I love, move them and give them some private joy.

When my nephews were small, I always got them savings bonds. I was thinking of their education, wanting to give them what I am still trying to acquire. But in addition to that, I always found something little to give them. A small toy for their little hands. It used to drive my dad nuts, because invariably, the boys would play with the little toy I gave them instead of the big playsets they got for Christmas. Big trucks, big blocks, big "things". Bigger is not always better.

So, you will never find me up at 4am in front of a store on Black Friday. But you will find me at 10pm Mass on Christmas Eve, celebrating the Birth of the One who founded Christmas, being moved by the mystery and holiness of the season. Merry Christmas, God Bless you abundantly!

Change for Whom?

2008-10-10T10:48:00.002-05:00

I have been resisting the urge to spout about the upcoming elections and the financial crisis we are experiencing. I cannot address all the things I'd like to simply because there are too many.

Let me do this: if you really want to get a feel for who our government serves, there are a couple books everyone should read.

First, the financial shock we are in the midst of has its roots in the free market. Pick up a book called "Shock Doctrine" by Naomi Klein. A profound and unbiased look at what a truly free market will mean for us...and it is not the panacea that it is purported to be.

Second, if you thought you were paying more than your fair share of taxes, you are. There are two books by David Cay Johnston that will open your eyes, and drop your jaw. "Free Lunch - How the Wealthiest Americans enrich themselves at Government Expense (and stick you with the bill)" (sounds like bailout to me); and "Perfectly Legal - the covert campaign to rig our tax system to benefit the super rich and cheat everyone else"; were written in 2007 and 2003 respectively.

And if you've managed to get through those, and can still stomach a bit more to make you mad, pick up "Gotcha Capitalism" a book about how you are nailed by fake fees, pretend taxes and how, without even knowing it, you've abdicated your rights away when signing some contracts. It was written in 2007 by Bob Sullivan.

Rather than spend your hard-earned cash, go to your local library and borrow the books. The library is paid for by your taxes, so use it, its one of the things that benefits the people who pay for it.

By the way, none of the above authors know me, or solicited my opinion. Nor am I in any way being compensated. Except by having my eyes opened.

Once you read any or all of these books, you'll know why the candidates slogan about change is really nothing new. And nothing will change.

I don't know who I will vote for, I have no confidence in either candidate. Can I write in a "no confidence" vote?

Love/Hate Relationship - Computers.

2008-09-18T11:44:00.004-05:00

Computers are amazing machines, aren't they? Since I can remember when only bigger companies had giant mainframes and only the accountants really used them, we've seen them become a necessary tool, for work, school, and even home monitoring.

Obviously, I use one to write this blog. Send/read email; research products or topics, keep up with my favorite TV shows (LOST) or buy stuff. I love being able to check the radar for weather systems, not only in my area, but to watch the many hurricanes we've had, or just to get the forecast.

My husband and I have two desktops, and two laptops between us. My desktop failed a about 3 month ago. I wasn't concerned, since I have the laptop. Most of my work is done on it, because I can take it with me.

Recently, my husband's laptop DVD drive stopped working. A $140 later, it is working again, we picked it up just before he left on temporary duty (TDY) for the Air Force, which was great, since he needs it with him.

While his laptop was in the shop, he turned to his desktop. Lo and behold, the power source was shot. Well, we can share my laptop, right? No problem.

Right after he left, my laptop started doing strange things. It kept looping the same error messages. I tried everything I know, and even called a friend who is an IT professional. It had to go to the shop. Now I have no computer, and I have a business to run, invoices to print, email to check.

I took both the desktop and my laptop to the shop. I emphasized the need for one or the other to come back before I left to visit my husband on the base. I figured the desktop would come back, since it was a simple power replacement. I was right, I got it back on Thursday afternoon. Too late to run invoices but at least when I came back I could work, right?

At the same time they returned the desktop they informed me that the laptop, which was an older model perfect for my needs, would probably cost in the neighborhood of $300 to repair. With the price of computers coming down, did I still want it repaired when I could probably buy a new one, updated and faster for about $500-600? Needless to say, its still there, and I will be looking for a new one. Thankfully, I had backed up all my work beforehand so I haven't lost data, just time.

Oh, the desktop I'm using? It has no software on it. My husband never got around to loading it, since he uses his laptop more.

What are the odds that all four computers would have problems at the same time?

I hate computers. I have to get a new laptop....SOON!

A Picture without a Thousand Words, or even One?

2008-08-08T20:55:00.004-05:00

It's been a month now since my sister's funeral, plus 2 days. I've been going through some old photos that she had. Obviously, this is long before digital so I don't have any to post today, I'll have to scan them first.

We humans have a tendency to accumulate "stuff" for a multitude of reasons. But photos are by far the strangest. My sister has an album that I've gone through today, and only a few of the photos are ones I can identify. They are of family and family events, like Christmas, weddings, birthdays. Many are from parades, the Milwaukee County Zoo and places she visited. Here's the thing, none are labeled. No names; not for the people or the places pictured. What do I do with these unidentified, and unknowable pictures?

Did you ever think about what happens to someone's pictures after they've passed on?

I know I have a few albums from my travels around the country. Most of the albums have an index, albeit a brief one, so that I can remember the sequence of my trips. But when I go, who will look at them again? I like to look at them now and again. It helps me remember the places I've seen. It's a way of capturing a special memory, to visit again and again.

The cool thing about the photos I do know, made me very happy. There are some of my dad, and my grandma on her second wedding day. There are some from my brother's wedding. There is one of my sister, my brother and me on his wedding day; so we are all dressed up, skinny and a lot younger! I pulled those out, I'll frame them so I can see them everyday.

Those pictures brought back some wonderful memories for me, and I'm sure for her. But we were a part of that event. The other pictures may have been wonderful for her, but they are hers alone in eternity now. Unless you've labeled the pictures and the people in them, those memories will disappear the moment you do.

So, I have some labeling to do, catch ya later!

Taking Apart a Life

2008-07-16T17:48:00.005-05:00

The funeral was on Sunday, July 6. A good number of people came, including about a dozen of Lora's "kids" from the school that she crossed for, along with their parents. It was heartbreaking to talk with each kid, but I made sure I did. I wanted them to know that this life isn't the end. It seemed to comfort them to think of Lora still at her corner, in spirit, looking out for them. I reminded them that she taught them how to cross a street safely and to remember that, it would keep them safe, just as she did.

Funerals are hard for family. Everyone wants to talk with you, to share a story, or just let you know that they are there. And you have to keep it together. This is not the time to close yourself off from others so you can grieve. But there were a couple times when I lost my composure. A dear friend of my dad's came. He had read the notice in the paper and didn't believe it at first. I happened to be in the lobby when he came through the door. I hadn't seen him in a few years and we had been good "buddies," of the kid and cop sort. He is older by about 15 years, and was just a great pal. I burst into tears when I saw him. He hugged me tight and we just stood there, me bawling my eyes out. Then the switch was flipped. Inside of 3 minutes we shared our news, about the circumstances of my sister's passing, and a complete surprise to him, the fact that I had gotten married. His comment created a little levity and helped lessen the intensity of emotion. That's a true friend, someone who can let you bawl like a baby, and yet make you laugh so to ease your pain.

Now the next hard part comes. Packing up and dismantling a life. First, the pets. To some of you, they are just animals. But to those who have pets, you know that they grieve too. My mom took the two teacup chihuahuas. They have always visited their "grandma" and even my mom's cat likes to play with them. But one of them really had a hard time, he snapped and growled at me whenever I came to the house. He hid in their crate and crawled under the blanket. After about 4 days, he finally came to sit near me as I was going through some papers. Not too close, but on the same loveseat. The black one always came to me, so he crawled in my lap. Later, I mentioned grandma and they both perked up, and seemed ready to ride. So, I took them for a visit. That broke the tension for the tan dog and he finally stopped growling. We visited grandma, then stopped at McDonalds for a hamburger - a treat my sister would give them. The next day, they went back to grandma's permanently. The transition was a bit smoother for them.

The cats are with me, but not without some drama. Cats don't travel as well. And they were just as tramatized as the dogs. She had three; a grey male cat, a very big white and brown male tabby, and a black and white tuxedo female. The two boys are about 9 years old, and the girl is just 6. I know because she is the daughter of my brown spotted girl and sister of my brown & white tabby boy. I'm hoping that they can become friendly so I can keep her. The two boys will have to be adopted out, together because they've been pals for all their lives. I hate to do that, but we can't keep five cats.

I'm worried about the little girl cat. She doesn't come out from under the chair unless I lift it up (to make sure she's okay) and as soon as I put it back down, under she goes. I can't tell if she's eating and drinking. I'm assuming she is, because she does still look good, eyes are clear, her fur is clean. She may just take longer to adjust. I hope so. It's been six days, and the boys came out on the second day.

Right now, we are in the process of sorting through Lora's belongings. Her death is still so recent, that it feels like we are violating her privacy. It breaks my heart to decide who will take what, and what to do with the leftovers. And her garden. She worked in that garden every year and its become a little Eden. Roses, daisys, all kinds of flowers. A vegetable garden that is just beginning to produce tomatoes and peppers. And she isn't here to take care of it. She loved her garden. My mom and I discussed which plants to take come autumn, after the growing season. I found pictures of her house and yard when she first moved in. She continued to take pictures through the years as the garden progressed. And now, someone will buy the house after probate (please consider your Will now!) and change everything to suit their needs.

We can only dig up a few of the plants before we sell, to keep Lora's garden alive in our own, but it isn't the same. Just as there will be holes in her garden, there are holes in our hearts. It just isn't the same........

A Personal Tragedy

2008-07-03T19:03:00.005-05:00

My sister, Lora, died yesterday from complications of surgery. The anger and grief is unbelieveable, and overwhelming. I can't go into details about the surgery under the advice of our attorney, but that is a clue in and of itself.

My sister was a bit of an unconventional person too. But not in the same sense I am. She was more of the kind who did things to get attention rather than set a precedent. However, she was a loyal friend to many, a devoted mom to her beloved pets and a wonderful crossing guard for the kids at Fernwood. That was her best quality, her love of kids and animals.

One of the hardest things you have to do in the midst of grief and shock, is plan a funeral for someone who should have been here to help with our parents. Dad died less than 3 years ago. That grief is still working itself out. With a younger person, thinking about your own wishes for your memorial is not a top priority. Nor do you talk about it except in an abstract way, and only in passing. It is hard to decide what to do, what would she like, how does she want to be memorialized? Each of us has different ideas because we have different memories.

Just as important, is how her friends remember her. Family you are stuck with, you are born into a collection of people who share the same blood and you don't get a choice of who they are. But friends; friends are people we choose to be with, for many reasons. People you meet on this life's journey, can come or go without obligation. So when someone becomes a friend, it is a choice made mutally that fills a need for both people. Sometimes they last a lifetime, sometimes just because you work together, sometimes during the duration of a difficult time, sometimes just a few minutes while waiting for a bus. Sometimes friendships are forged in good times and reinforced during hard times, and other times fractured by hard times. Regardless, friends are precious because of the process of becoming, and staying, friends. It's something you both, hopefully, nuture and grow.

My sister has friends who love her, some for a long time, others more recent. All are devastated by her death. There is nothing worse, to me, than to have to tell her friends that she is gone. They don't understand, it is too incomprehensible that someone as full of life as Lora (Lori to her friends) will not be here anymore.

At the same time, her loss reminds me that life is unpredictable, fragile, and shorter than we want. So take this lesson to heart, live like today is the only day you get, love, laugh, and be sure to tell those you care about, that you love them. Don't wait because you think you have all the time in the world, or its hard to say those words. You don't, and everyone wants to know they are loved by someone. You would.

I love my sister. I miss her desperately and I want her back.

Out of the Ordinary

2008-06-13T10:16:00.004-05:00

What makes someone unconventional?

Unconventional is defined as "not conventional; not bound by or in accordance with convention; being out of the ordinary." Convention is defined as "generally accepted custom, practice or belief", and conventional as "settled or prescribed by convention, customary, commonplace, ordinary."

Most of us are pretty conventional, we follow trends in fashion, in electronics, and in the milestones of life. And there are elements in our lives, when we choose them, that set us apart from everyone else. They are small elements, for instance, when everyone else in your circle of friends likes hiphop, you like country music. Not too far out and radical for fear of losing the tenuous hold we perceive we have on the comforts of our lives. Instead of following our hearts, we follow our friends. When you're a kid, this can lead to poor judgement in who we follow and where it leads us.

It also takes us on a long and winding road to pursuing our dreams, with far too many detours sometimes.

I can't even remember what I wanted to be when I was a kid. Like most kids, I was pretty directionless. We didn't have much money, so my options of college were pretty limited, as well as not being the thing daughters wanted to do. My achievements in school, in sports, in pretty much anything, were downplayed and dismissed. I was supposed to settle for being a wife, maybe a secretary or store clerk, until I married and then being a housewife.

Now don't get excited, being a mother and wife is a lot of work, and a mostly thankless job, albeit a very important one. It was just something I wanted to postpone, partly because of what I observed as a kid, and partly because I didn't see very many men appreciating their wives. I wanted to "do" things, not observe them from the sidelines. In my young eyes, men had all the fun, all the recognition, all the inside "secrets" and very little responsibility. Remember, I didn't see what my dad did at work, I only saw what my mom had to do, and how much there was. Mom had to take care of the house, the three kids, and my dad. She had to juggle the finances, pay the bills, wash, cook, clean-up, etc. My dad, on the other hand, went to work, came home, was served supper, sometimes did yard work, and watched TV. Us kids were not to disturb him.
What's up with that?

So, I went in a different direction. I moved out at 18, I did not get married, I did not have kids. I went to work. I did things I wanted to do, within my means. I traveled. I did go to college, but I have yet to attain my degree. I became a storm spotter/chaser for the National Weather Service, for 14 years now. I became a wildlife rescue volunteer for the local wildlife department of the animal humane society, for 18 years now. I became a published poet. I started a business after losing my job of 15 years. And at the ripe old age of 47, I married a wonderful man and became a military wife.

I am a lucky woman, because I learned to listen to my heart.

Talk to the Kitty Butt, Mister!

2008-06-10T17:07:00.005-05:00

My husband was trying to capture the personality of this 4 week old kitten, Lukaboo, whom we were fostering for a local shelter.

Have you ever seen an angry kitten?

I'm not sure what ticked him off, but I think I'd just get out of the way!

Talk to the kitty butt, mister!

A Launch of Words

2008-06-09T09:57:00.003-05:00

A friend encouraged me to start a blog, so here's my inauspicious launch.

I lead what I think is an unconventional life. I chose things to do in my life that make me happy. But it took awhile to find my way. Too often, we make decisions about our direction in life that make others happy. A career path, or education, or even getting married and having kids. And sometimes life just happens, and we either roll with the punches or get rolled over.

For a long time, I knew I didn't want to do what everyone else was doing. I didn't want to get married, until I had made a "name" for myself. I wanted to go to college, the first in my immediate family. I didn't want to have kids until I/we (the elusive "husband") had built a firm foundation of love and respect, and could provide for them an adequate life. Note I said adequate, not comfortable, not luxurious. Adequate, so that we could teach them the value of work and education.

But life happened. My parents didn't think college was necessary for a girl. She was supposed to get married and have kids, run the house for her husband and take care of him. Yeah, my parents grew up in the 50's. The best I could finagle, was a trade school and a fashion design 2-year program. I dislike, intensely, the fashion world that decides what's in and what's not, and what you SHOULD look like. I dislike the industry that banks on people discarding clothes like so much chaff because its out of style this season. What a waste. I do understand that it creates jobs, but who truly benefits? Admit it, most of the people who work hardest are those who are paid the least. Oh well, I can't offer any solutions, except not buy into it. I do buy nice, classic clothing that I can wear season after season, and accessorize. I'm not a complete snob, just not a trendy one.

Anyway, I digress. I dropped out after one semester and went to work. This was in the late 70s. I moved out of the house at 18, into a little duplex with a roommate. Two single girls with their own apartment. Yikes! Not quite a year later, she moved in with her boyfriend and I took another place on my own. I never looked back.

more to come...